


After The Casserole

by ElephantsRTasty



Category: RWBY
Genre: F/M, Friendship, One Shot, RoseGarden, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-04
Updated: 2019-01-04
Packaged: 2019-10-04 01:42:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17295278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElephantsRTasty/pseuds/ElephantsRTasty
Summary: After the battle at Haven, after Jinn, after Qrow, after Jaune... Oscar has been feeling entirely and utterly alone. He really needs a hug, even though he doesn't quite realize it yet.TW: implied/referenced suicidal thoughts------------Since CRWBY doesn't want Oscar to get a "we are always here for you and love you" hug, I wrote my own. #OscarProtectionSquadA oneshot for what happens after the end of RWBY Volume 6, Episode 9.





	After The Casserole

**Author's Note:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: IMPLIED/REFERENCED SUICIDAL THOUGHTS.  
> Since this volume has started, all I wanted was for someone to give Oscar a hug. After V6E9, he still hasn't gotten a proper one. So I wrote my own.

_“How much longer can we even trust him? How do we even know it’s really him? What if we have been talking to that liar this whole time?!”_

 Jaune’s words, despite his apology, played repeatedly in Oscar’s head as the group of friends sat down to eat the casserole. What if Jaune was right?

Oscar glanced down at his new clothes and a wave of shock passed through him. For the first time since getting them, he realized the style resembled Ozma and some of his ancient reincarnations in little ways. He hadn’t even really been paying attention when he went to buy them as his mind was reeling with the day’s events. Oscar didn’t even leave to buy clothes to begin with but had found himself outside a shop after escaping the house. What if his soul had already been merged and he didn’t know it? What if he didn’t know because he was already brainwashed? What if he had just given in to Ozpin without realizing because he was weak? What if… what if….

Dinnerware at the table clinked as someone’s fork loudly contacted their plate, probably on purpose. Oscar’s gaze flashed upwards and around the table as everyone started eating, except Qrow who had just gone upstairs. Oscar could tell they had been watching him; they shifted nervously and quietly in their seats. Even baby Adrian wasn’t making any of his cute babbles. Though the mood had been lighter just a few minutes before, everyone had a somber face and looked like they were gazing at something miles away, something they would never reach. The negativity was palpable… if they weren’t in Argus of all places, Grimm would certainly be on their way.

Jaune’s sister and her wife tried to start conversations throughout the meal, but by the end of it, they had their focus on trying to feed Adrian with the little airplanes of food babies like so much. At least he was giggling. Oscar finished first, trying to tolerate the serving in front of him by eating it fast enough to ignore the feeling of it in his stomach. If he felt it, he would probably throw it all up. Without a word, he took his dishes to the sink and headed upstairs. He needed to be alone, to try to come to terms with his impending demise if nothing else.

The room was small, not supposed to be a bedroom, with a couch covered in blankets for a bed. It was almost pitch black inside, especially with the dark curtains obscuring any light from the streets. Oscar shuffled inside, shut the door, and flopped down onto the couch, face in his pillow. He stayed like that for a few seconds, almost enjoying the feeling of not being able to breathe. Maybe he could do something to get Ozpin out of his head for good. Oscar would do almost anything to do that, but after a few seconds, he moved so he could breathe. Maybe Ozpin had already taken over and was just silently preserving his own life.

Oscar slowly took off his new boots and jacket. He tossed them across the room and lost them in the darkness. The thumping sound they made when hitting the floor sounded like when his heard the blood pumping in his ears, but after that, it was eerily silent. No sounds came from downstairs or outside. Maybe Oscar could escape from everything by staying in this room, forever. That thought seemed to calm him as he stared at the ceiling for what felt like hours. He even almost drifted to sleep, small tears in his eyes, when he heard it: a soft knock at the door.

He was going to ignore it, but it happened again. Clothes rustled on the other side of the door and whoever was standing there sniffled. Oscar sighed and slowly got up, wiping the salty water from his eyes.

Ruby was standing there, looking at her feet, when Oscar opened the door. It wasn’t a look he saw a lot on the girl. It startled her, almost like she expected him to not answer. He wouldn’t blame her for that.

“Ruby?”

“Hi, Oscar,” she said with a sad, hushed voice, finally bringing her eyes to meet his. She managed a soft, understanding smile. “Sorry if I woke you up, and if you want me to leave, I will. But… I thought that talking to someone might help. Even a little bit.”

Oscar rubbed his face, a bit embarrassed. “Ruby, I appreciate that. But I don’t think anyone can help me. Not with this.” He noticed she didn’t have the relic with her.

She shifted her weight to her other foot, glancing down the hall for a brief moment before looking back at Oscar. “I don’t mean that it will help you with this, or at least this specifically. This is something only you can handle, and I’m sorry. But talking to someone, just talking about what you’re feeling, helps in the meantime. Even just having someone there to listen can help. Me and Yang use to do it all the time… it helped me more than I could imagine.”

As Oscar was about to open his mouth to refuse, a horrible feeling flooded his chest. It weighed on him with crushing dread while also making him feel empty and hollow inside. For a moment, he actually thought he was going to die, have a heart attack or something, but he mustered the strength to gesture Ruby inside and turn on the lights.

Ruby awkwardly stood to the side while Oscar sat on the couch and hung his head in sadness. They stayed like that for several minutes before the awkwardness took over and Oscar pointed for her to sit with him. She did, and the warmth emanating from her body felt warmer than anything, besides the hot casserole, he’d felt in a while. The thought was almost funny, but Oscar’s mind quickly bounced to something else… something just a bit more important.

“What am I supposed to say?” he whispered, his voice wavering more than he would have liked.

Ruby sniffled again. “Whatever you feel like saying, really. Sometimes it’s best to start small, like just with how you’re feeling.”

“How I’m feeling right now is _small_?” Oscar tensed up, his tone of voice angrier than he meant. He knew Ruby didn’t mean it that way, but he couldn’t help himself. He was losing control, in more ways than one. “You think this is easy? You have no idea what I’ve really been going through. What this has _felt like_. How much my life has changed when I never even wanted it to in the first place!”

“Oscar, I….”

“No!” he exclaimed, standing up with clenched fists. “You have no idea. My entire life has altered course and been stolen from me right in front of my face and I could do nothing about it! My life is essentially gone now and I have no control over my fate. I’ve probably already been taken over anyways. I am slowly losing myself, bit by bit and there’s nothing I can do to stop it. One day I’ll wake up and not remember who I was, where I came from, what I wanted to actually do with my life. You don’t know how it feels, to lose yourself like this.” The words spilled out of his mouth almost faster than he could think. “Especially when you know you can’t do anything except sit around and wait for it to happen, for your new self to go out and fight some unwinnable war and inevitably die fighting an immortal being some ancient dumbass vowed to defeat! I didn’t deserve this. Nobody that came before me deserved this. It’s an endless cycle of hell. It’s so unfair. If I could, I would do anything to get him out of my head. Anything. You know what happened before you came up here? I buried my face in my pillow and realized that I kind of liked not being able to breathe.”

Ruby's knees were wet with tears.

“For some reason, I stopped. But since Haven, and Jinn, and Qrow, and now Jaune, I can’t get it out of my head. That nobody wants me here. That all I’ve done is ruin everything you all have tried to do. That I would do anything to stop experiencing _this_. But I’m basically already dead anyway, so what’s the point… of anything?”

Oscar’s voice broke as he realized he was sobbing harder than he ever had before. He regretted those last few words, but was that because he didn’t mean them or only because he didn’t want to say them out loud? He took a deep, shaky breath. “I always wanted to be more than I was. But not like this.”

He collapsed back onto the couch with his head in his hands. He and Ruby sat there, shaking with sobs until they had nothing left to cry and began to dry heave. Their labored breathing filled the small room with raspy sounds. At least, until someone banged loudly on the wall behind them and shouted with an angry, drunken voice. “Will you two shut up already?”

Oscar and Ruby glanced at each other, and suddenly they were grinning. Then giggling. Then laughing, with fresh tears in their eyes. Neither knew why they were laughing, but enjoyed the brief moment until they became somber again.

Ruby coughed. “Oscar, I’m so sorry… I can’t even begin to imagine what that all feels like for you. And I’m sorry I never came to talk to you sooner. I wanted to be a good friend, a good leader, but I didn’t realize what you were going through.”

“It’s okay, Ruby. I don’t think anyone could.” He was quiet for a few moments while he stared at the curtains. The soul-crushing feeling in his chest was still there, but he didn’t feel like he was going to die anymore. “I didn’t mean what I said, about liking not being able to breathe and all that.”

Ruby interrupted. “I think you did.”

He sighed, defeated and tired. “I think I did.”

“Oscar, I heard everything you said and I’m worried about you. We are all worried about you. We care about you just as we care for each other; you are a part of our team now, just as important as any one of us. I want you here. We want you here. If we lost you, it would hurt. A lot. But I am glad that you were able to tell me about these things. If there is anything I can ever do for you—”

The boy’s eyes were watering yet again and he was quick to cover them with his hands. More sobs escaped his throat. “Ruby, thank you. That’s the most caring thing anyone has ever said to me. I hope I remember this, remember what you said to me, when I’m…. Ruby?”

Ruby had enveloped Oscar in a snug, warm hug. Her face buried into his shoulder and her arms held tightly around his own, encapsulating him. She smelled like citrus from the backyard. After a brief moment of confusion, his muscles relaxed in spasm-like waves. He melted into the embrace, with what he could move of his arms hugging Ruby back. They sat like that for several minutes in a silent understanding.

When she spoke, her words were muffled. “You will always be here, Oscar. You, the real you. We aren’t going to let _you_ go anywhere. And you can be sure that I won’t let you forget me,” she joked through a mix of sobbing and laughter.

“ _Great_ ,” Oscar mumbled with a sarcastic tone, a small smile creeping onto his lips. A distant part of him knew his friends might not succeed with that. But right then, with Ruby there, he knew that somehow everything would be okay.


End file.
